You know it's a dive bar when: The wood-paneled walls are lined with dart boards instead of places to sit. The jukebox pumps out Willie Nelson, a 1940s show tune and a slow '80s country song back to back. Friends address each other as "hey, asshole." Signs warn you against starting fights. There's a "birthday board" that tells everyone Jeff is turning 80 on the 21st.
Relics of a dive bar: No one seemed really sure when Some Place Else opened, but the general consensus was this east-side dive has been around "since forever." Judging by a Bud Light bottle (with an ancient label design) that was dressed up like a fish and covered with about a quarter inch of dust, I'd say they were about right. Regulars come here to play darts and pool, with leagues throughout the week. The walls are lined with trophies and plaques of dart champions. And this isn't the place where you trade your ID for some crappy, bent darts kept behind the bar. At Some Place Else, you bring your own Sharp Shooters and Silver Hornets.
What we ordered: A bottle of Bud Light for $2.50 was all I needed to watch and mingle. The bar serves frozen pizzas, which a couple of teams were sharing, as well as cheese bread and mozzarella sticks.
Local flavor: We stuck out like sore thumbs from the moment we parked the car. When I sat down to watch the teams, the couple next to me wanted to know who I was and what I was doing there. They were getting ready to play, and said they used to be on a team together called "The Bitchin' Baldies." One lady at the bar asked my friend if we were the police.
My favorite sign in the bar (among many good ones) was one that read "If you have a phone call and you are here, you are here." Bartender Emily Erickson, 28, said wives and girlfriends call here all the time, looking for their significant others. "If they're here, they get the phone," she said.
Best deals: Get a quarter off everything (which makes some beers $2) from 6-10 a.m. and 4-6 p.m. daily. Dart teams get a free round on tournament nights.
You'll be back for: Challenging regulars to heated dart rounds and a game of pool, because according to the sign, it's "the most fun you can have with your pants on." Oh, and Jeff's 80th birthday party.
