Ronnie Ortiz from 'Jersey Shore' will party in Des Moines

Ronnie Ortiz, the hot-headed "Guido" from MTV's 'Jersey Shore,' will grace Des Moines with his presence at Uncle Buck's Kick Ass Party Bar Friday, November 5 at a Jersey Shore Party.

That means you have three weeks to work on your abs, your tan, and do some laundry before the you have the chance to meet the star in West Des Moines. Please don't embarass our city by showing up with pale skin and static-y hair — I don't care if it's November in Iowa.

Will he take a ride on the bull? Attempt the huge beer bong? Find someone to "smush?" I can't predict that, but Uncle Buck's is promising $3 tall boys, $2 drinks and some "Ron-Ron Juice," his signature drink, that evening.