"Guarding Tess" (1994)
Credit:TriStar Pictures
Sure it’s a mixed-up (a.k.a. unfunny) buddy comedy about a former first lady (Shirley MacLaine) and her secret service bodyguard (Cage), but the real star is the slicked back substance nestled atop Cage’s head. Substance, I just can’t take my eyes off you.
Hairdo haiku:
Excruciating.
This movie sucked. And Nic’s hair
Made me want to die
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