"The Price Is Right" returns to prime time tonight with the first of six new "Million Dollar Spectacular Specials" (love the name, Drew!). Since this is the first batch of specials since smiling, bespectacled host Drew Carey stepped into Barker's shiny shoes, it got us a little nostalgic for all the great life lessons the longest-running game show on TV has taught us through the years.
After all, without a good showcase showdown, some Plinko and a few new cars, what’s the fun of a Friday night?
Here are a few of our favorite bits of wisdom from "Price," the Beauties and those amazingly simple games:
- It doesn’t take a genius to be eligible to win big prizes in life.
- A bag of cat food will more often than not cost more than Windex, a frozen dinner and hemorrhoid cream combined.
- A Hole in One is easy. If you get paid to play every day. And the course is only 6 feet long.
- As long as your arm muscles are strong enough to get a big wheel to spin around one full turn, you won’t be publicly humiliated. (“Wheel of Fortune” backs up this claim.)
- If someone offers you a free gift package—no matter how great it might seem—and it doesn’t include a snowmobile, an exotic vacation and a state-of-the-art espresso machine, ask if you can “pass” and try for another package.
- Much like politics in the U.S., Plinko is a game of chance best played by someone with enthusiasm, energy, a willingness to explore new angles and a lot of balls.
- Wear high heels. Always. (Note: According to much Barker’s Beauties research, Lucite wedges can be substituted for more casual or beach-themed activities.)
- Also, unless you are a model who presents things dramatically with your hands (in the aforementioned high heels), always wear a bra. A sturdy one. And comfortable shoes. You never know when someone’s gonna call your name to run down an aisle.
- A long, skinny microphone is surprisingly slimming.
- If someone told us we could win a Ford Focus simply by guessing its actual retail price, we’d believe it.
- Yodeling is difficult, tough on the vocal chords and, really, not very attractive. Unless you’re a trained professional, please don’t try this at home. Or on national television.
- Spicing up everyday things is as easy as adding a few basic adjectives. It’s not just scuba equipment. It’s fun scuba equipment.
- There is no shame in owning an “I Heart Neutering” sweatshirt. Even now.
